Death Loves Stupid People With a Dash of Unlucky.
Do You feel bad about yourselves? Feel like there's no way out? Hell, at least you didn't end up like the musician who gets fishy, a man who gets really unlucky, a prisoner Who gets Bible-killed, a teenager who loved stealing other people's lunches, a rocker who goes hay-wire, a Doctor who gets massaged, and a bad actor who thought the gun was fake. If this doesn't make you feel better, nothing will! Most people ask "What's so good about this 1000 Ways to Die Show?" And all I got to say is "Where else can you see?" A paint-baler get paint-balled, a skier meat a "George of the jungle" demise, a couple of terrorists who couldn't watch the watch tower (land on them), a bully get dodge-balled, an annoying New Jersey punk (How original!) get juiced, a civil war soldier survives a cannon shot and kill without even trying and lastly how the heck do you die from a cat scratch (disease/fever)! Deaths {| align="center" cell padding="8" {| align="center" cell padding="8" cell spacing="3" style="border-collapse:collapse;" style="background-color:black" frame="box" rules="rows" rules="columns" |- style="background:#e00;" ! Death #!! Event Name!! Date Of Death!! Location!! Circumstances of Death |- | 369 | style="text-align:center;"|Paint Balled | style="text-align:center;"|June 3, 1978 | style="text-align:center;"|Tokyo, Japan | style="text-align:center;"| A mean, rude and obnoxious woman plays paint-ball. She climbs a 30-feet-tall tree and sits on a branch. She laughs at and mocks a man's aiming due to him keep hitting the branch she is sitting on and not her. After 15 paint-balls the branch breaks and the woman falls to her death. Plummeting and cracking her skull and damaging her brain. Dying instantly from brain hemorrhage. (BASED on a real accident, although the injured victim did not die but suffered a concussion, but was fine later on). |- | 547 | style="text-align:center;"|Skiing Trip | style="text-align:center;"|November 17, 2004 | style="text-align:center;"|Memphis, Tennessee | style="text-align:center;"| Two rival-women verse each other for the final gold cup in skiing. One of the woman rigs the other woman's skis. When the race starts, seconds later, the woman with the rigged skis spins out. The woman who rigged the skis looks behind her back and laughs at the woman, but when she looks back in front of her, she crashes head on into a tree. The impact sent the cartridge of her nose into her brain as well as the impact just cracking her skull. She dies instantly from brain hemorrhage. (based on the death of Sony Bono and multiple other skiing-related deaths. |- |984 | style="text-align:center;"|Terrorist | style="text-align:center;"|May 24, 2009 | style="text-align:center;"|Concord, New Hampshire | style="text-align:center;"|Two terrorist attempt to blow up a watch tower. They set up and plant 10 pounds of C-4 on all four legs of the tower. They detonate the C-4 and the tower falls on them, which crushing both of their ribs and puncturing their hearts and killing both of them in seconds as they bleeds to death. |- |58 | style="text-align:center;"|Dodge Balled | style="text-align:center;"|November 20, 2007 | style="text-align:center;"|Annapolis, Maryland | style="text-align:center;"| A sadistic bully plays dodge-ball with 11 other kids. When one student throws a ball at the wall while the kids dodge the ball, a strong kid gets all ten students out, but finally gets the bully out with a head shot. The ball hits his head so hard his brain bounces of the back of his skull, causing it to bleed and knocks him against the wall, hitting his head and cracking his skull. He dies instantly from brain hemorrhage. |- |421 | style="text-align:center;"| Jersey Gore (2) | style="text-align:center;"|June 1, 1996 | style="text-align:center;"|Trenton, New Jersey | style="text-align:center;"|A punk thinks he is the king of New Jersey. He gets in a fight and gets punched in the face. He manages to knock the other guy out but walks away in pain. His skull is cracked from the punch to the face. He gets dizzy from the damaged skull and trips on his sandals. He lands on the wooden-dock floor and the impact damages the already cracked skull. He dies instantly from brain hemorrhage. |- |324 | style="text-align:center;"|Bayou-Neck | style="text-align:center;"|April 19, 1870 | style="text-align:center;"|Miami, Ohio | style="text-align:center;"|A civil war soldier is shell-shocked by a cannon shot. His rifle is blown out of his hands and flies right into an enemy soldier. The bayonet of the rifle impales his heart, killing him seconds later. |- |836 | style="text-align:center;"|Curiosity (Didn't) Kill the Cat | style="text-align:center;"|October 20, 2003 | style="text-align:center;"|Los Angeles, California | style="text-align:center;"|A woman is scratched in the neck by a cat. The cat's claws severs her right jugular vein and carotid artery. Before she bleeds to death, her husband saves her from bleeding to death, but she dies a month later from a cat scratch disease. Category:Episodes